


lasers make everything better

by Anonymous



Series: free pickings [4]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Morality | Patton Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders are Siblings, most of the sides are cats, training cats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:34:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25840675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: In which Janus is a cat person with too much spare time.
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders & Everyone, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: free pickings [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2048507
Comments: 6
Kudos: 32
Collections: Anonymous





	lasers make everything better

Sometimes the best medicine after a long day is to be immeasurably petty to your cats.

It had started as a way to decompress, (talking about how someone was stealing his lunches, or how people didn't know how to make photocopies, or even _how to turn a computer on _) but it quickly progressed into releasing his pent up passive-aggression.  
__

__Janus was not ashamed to say that most of his spare time was spent tricking his cats into chasing around a laser pointer light. It had begun simply, a gentle game of chase, chuckling to himself about how his cats would fall over one another to try and catch a light they'd never be able to contain.  
_ _

__It didn't stay simple.  
_ _

__The game had changed the day he accidentally sent Roman careening into the food bowl, sending the food flying everywhere. Janus was too tired to go clean it up, but he looked at his laser pointer and wondered. Could he get the cats to gather it up for him?  
_ _

__He pointed the laser at some of the further pieces of kibble, interested in the results. The cats ran at the light, moving away from the food bowls and sending the kibble further around the floor. Janus moved the light away, glancing at the kibble, trying to calculate trajectory in his head. Once he had it as best he could, he moved the light to a small cluster of food. The cats ran in, hitting the food in the direction of the upturned bowl.  
Janus smirked at his success.  
_ _

__Laser pointers were soon everywhere in his house, set up strategically so he could get the cats to press buttons and do things for him. Soon, he had his cats turning on and off lights, and filling up their water, and open simple doors with buttons and lights.  
_ _

__Janus was pleased until he realised his cats now knew how to do those things without the light to guide them too.  
_ _

__That was when Janus moved on to training them to do obstacle courses.  
_ _

__Up ramps, along seesaws, weaving between items, jumping over things, crawling under them; Janus was determined to train his cats.  
_ _

__Unsurprisingly, Logan took to it best. More surprisingly, Roman did second best, although, Janus couldn't rule out that maybe Roman did well to show off. Remus and Virgil were equally bad at training, probably because they were easily distracted.  
_ _

__This wasn't particularly a problem until Patton turned up unexpectedly one day.  
_ _

__The cats almost let him in, as Janus was still working on disabling the mechanism that he had set up for the cats to let him into the house (frankly, a horrible idea in hindsight).  
_ _

__"Hey kiddo!" Patton said, as Janus moved cats out of the way. "That was quick!"  
_ _

__"No more than usual," Janus lied, hoping Patton wouldn't want to come in despite knowing Patton definitely would.  
_ _

__"I came to say hi to you and all your furbabies!"  
_ _

__"You're allergic." Janus reminded him.  
_ _

__Patton grinned, but it was sharp. "I took anti-allergy medicine."  
_ _

__Janus sighed and resigned himself to letting his brother inside. He pulled out a laser pointer and successfully removed the cats from the doorway, ignoring the way Patton gasped about the cats being adorable.  
_ _

__He let Patton in, shutting the door behind him and turning off the laser. The cats ran back to them, sniffing and exploring the newcomer.  
_ _

__"This one's Roman?" Patton asked, pointing at Remus. "Or Remus?"  
_ _

__Janus sighed, and bent down to lift Roman up. The dramatic show-off immediately crawled out of his arms and settled around his shoulders. "This is Roman, he thrives on drama more than food."  
_ _

__"That one's Remus, you can tell because he has a moustache and also smells of bad decisions." Janus pointed at Remus, then to Logan. "This is Logan._ _ __Sometimes I wonder if he's a human, but he's yet to slip up."  
_ _

__"Aww!" Patton cooed. "I love them."  
_ _

__"I have a fourth, Virgil. He's small, completely black, and hides in dark corners; so look out for him. He bites also."  
_ _

__"That's adorable!"  
_ _

__"Yes," Janus said. "I love being bitten when I try to get dressed for the day."  
_ _

__"I wish I could have cats!" Patton said, blatantly ignoring Janus.  
_ _

__Janus walked further into the house, Logan following at his heels. "I'm sure they would enjoy causing you pain every living moment."  
_ _

__"Whoa!" Patton exclaimed as he paused in the living room doorway. Janus turned back and pursed his lips once he realised what Patton was looking at.  
_ _

__"Is this an obstacle course?" Patton turned to him, basically emitting stars from his eyes.  
_ _

__Janus hummed noncommittally. "Seems that way."  
_ _

__"Are you training them?" Patton said, far too excitedly. "Can I try?"  
_ _

__Janus may have preferred to spend time with his cats, but he could admit to himself that he loved his brother, and would do just about anything for him._ _ __He rarely showed it, but he was certain Patton knew that already.  
_ _

__"If you must." Janus told him, handing over his laser pointer and letting Roman jump off his shoulders.  
_ _

__Patton's grin was better than any game Janus had ever played with his cats._ _

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone could train cats, I believe Janus would


End file.
